How To Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
4) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
5) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, I WON! WON! I WON! Third time this week!!!"
6) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over her or his caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
-Finally
8) Finish all your sentences with "...in accordance with the prophecy."